Nikers

Holy Mother Cracking Shit... I used to write a blog

2009-06-13T15:42:00.004+10:00

Well bugger me, I fell across this old chestnut earlier today and had completely forgotten about my hilarious stories. I just re-read it and shit, you guys are so lucky to have a friend like me. I am hilarious.

So, you'd think that in the space of 6 months (dear lord I am so sorry for depriving you all for so long) I would have some amazing stories to tell you, but alas dear readers nothing of the hilarious kind. Unfortunately, this year has been full of drama that is not in the least bit funny. But, I am happy to report that I am back on the proverbial cock. Oh shit. Did I just say that? What I meant to say was that I have an awesome boyfriend, Nicky version 2. Awesome name, pity about the spelling (nb: I do love him despite this fact though....). He makes up for it by having an amazing arse. Nice one buddy ;)

We are currently in the process of looking for a new house and have had a few let-downs, which have proved to dissapoint me more than they probably should. But, I suppose it could be attributed to the fact I just wrote 2 ROCKING essays and that really takes it out of a person. Its hard to be awesome all the time, and I have to do it orally and in written form. Expectations are demanding, but I think I can take the heat.

Also, I got a new job, working with angels and shit. I am reminded constantly that there are apparently 100,000 Angels (the song that is played over and over and over and over at work). Yeah, its a 'spiritual' place, makes my flatmates laugh... especially when I come home and I get asked by Nissan Navarra how the angels are today. Yeah, they're good Nissan, they're good.

Oh, and I became a vegetarian. We'll see how that one goes.... but so far its been pretty good. I think I am just bored with it at the moment... mix it up a little and try some new recipes is probably the flava flave of the day. Get some more of those tasty tofu nutrients. Mmmmmm. Good thing is though that I dont eat fast food (much) anymore (last night is NOT included, it was to cheer my flatmate up... I swear). But it means no more Maccas, and no more Ronald Mac asking me to do lewd things with his McNuggets.

Well, this one has been for you little Scotty dog.... have fun marking your exams. xx

My most embarassing moment to date...

2008-11-16T08:25:00.002+11:00

I had an EXTREMELY embarrassing moment the other day. I feel mortified thinking about it. This is bigger than the old dude.. bigger than the black man (man of african american descent)..

Hanging out with a friend from Uni and we were doing a quiz in the back of the Herald Sun. He is super smart with all this general knowledge stuff, where as I, on the other hand am I complete dunce when it comes to that sort of thing.
Anyway, so we're going through and there is this question:
"Who recently was made famous for people shouting 'Yes We Can!"
To which I said.. "Pssh! That's easy... Bob the Builder!"
To which he responsed "I think it was Barack Obama"
"Oh... yeah"

Um.... shit.
I was serious too!

Mortified to say the least. How embarassing.

Its these things we love

2008-10-19T12:09:00.003+11:00

I know some people hate Rove... and I really dont know why. Who doesnt love a man who is into wrestling? He is responsible for many a laugh and my Mum appreciates his hellos.

But I thought, bored as I am at work... about the things that I love (only because I'm doing one of them)..

I love my friends (esp BFFv1)...
I love that I am in my 2 of my best friends' wedding...
I love that I am nearly finished my first year of Uni...
I love Kat for being my buddy in Sem 2...
I love that I got 2 assignments finished when they were due on the same day...
I love the process of blogging...
I love that I did the lemon detox diet when everyone else said they couldnt possibly do it...
I love that when I havent seen my parents dogs in two weeks that they go all kinds of crazy insane...
I love my dog...
I love my flatmates...
I love my folks...
I love my brothers...

But the thing I love the most... the MOST... is that even though work is horrible on the weekends... at least they have foxtel and I can watch the wrestling..... WOOO!!!

Booyeah!

Phew!

2008-08-31T09:10:00.000+10:00

Its been a month - and what I promise... I deliver. Although I'm not sure that this is the best point of action considering that I have many things to talk about... but most of which forgotten.

Previous blog update: I remembered the awesome song that I was singing in the shower. I could even remember it when I was out the shower. Look at me now baby... look at me now.

Life has been busy busy busy but Uni has just been awesome this semester. I've finally settled into it and made an awesome friend - heres looking at you K-Chicken ;O (invaginate). And we're doing some really interesting stuff... I dissected a sheeps eye the other day and it was freaking awesome.

I've met another awesome dude too... I know what you're thinking.... 'you got conned by the other old man Nikers... beware!' - but I think that this old dude is legit. Well at least I hope, he has had a crazy life (the similiarities between old people are endless) and is a really inspirational person. Although, I am starting to see that getting old isnt going to be awesome. Old people are on so many drugs - and not the fun kind - it makes me sad that they have come to accept that life is slowly wearing them down. Not for me though, oh no... the only medicine I need is Bad Medicine and there is only one man that can give that to me... ladies and gentleman.... you love him, you adore him.... JON BON JOVI!

I've also been working heaps... there are loads of full timers off at work which means mucho shifts for Nikers, but less sleep too... and now an awesome ear infection that I've had for 2 weeks. I'm currently just working my second weekend with back to back shifts. I left work at 10pm last night (Saturday) and got back here 7am today... I was completely disillusioned thinking Uni life was going to be a chance to not only better myself (which I hope I am) but also have a bit of a more relaxed lifestyle (what am I - retiring age?). And I havent had a decent drinking session in ages.... see Dad.... I'm not an alcoholic!!..... I havent had a drink in over 4 hours. And it feels like forever since I've seen my lovely friends... holla at yaz yo... I miss you.. do you miss me too.. you better....

AND I'm back running... which I'm really excited about. I love it and I'm gonna get uber fit for bridesmaid time. I cant wait.... not long now LLBFF and BFFv2 :) There is such a different between running on concrete and running on a treadmill... my sides are so sore today!! But then again, I havent run in ages.... slack tart.

Show me some love kiddies....

Nikers

xoxo

I'm so fricken tired... I need a motivational poster to keep me going.... everytime I see this I nearly die with laughter.

Baby back baby back baby back....

2008-07-08T14:24:00.000+10:00

Its been a while - and hopefully I will make the wait worth the wait. I've struggled for material, but my aim is to get something out at least once a month. But I dont want to waste anyones time, I want to make this a cleansing and rewarding experience for all. So... do I make it funny, antecdotes from my insane life or do I make it REAL and tell you my deepest feelings, hopes and dreams? Best friends being predominantly male - I think not. I dont want vomit everywhere.

So.... on holidays and all I have wanted to do is work. Doing something that I know that I can do and be good at. Uni though - hugely scary place where things are different all the time and I tend to expect to much from myself. Being a completely ego-centric person, I require daily approval and I know that the only place I can guarantee that is at work. Especially when I am at the front desk and there are lots and lots and lots of people, so I use my best smile and some old guys come over and say that they dont want anything, just to see me smile. Awwww.... its so sweet and completely uncreepy especially after feeling like the most feral chick in the world for the last few years. So thats where I am, on my long awaited day off to spend with myself and Parry, I'm at work. The upside is that I am in a bit of debt at the moment and I need to pay for rent, bills, credit card bill, paintings, bridesmaid dress, shoes and reception accommodation. So every cent helps.

Flavour of the Month: Singing in the Shower

It drives my flatmates crazy but I love it so much it hurts. I even made up a song the other day which I boogied down to. Not usually a singer and a dancer in the shower - too much concetration involved - especially considering that I sing so loud that my wind pipes start to constrict.

Top 4 Songs
1. Theme Song to Bondi Rescue - (In the Summertime - Thirsty Merc)
2. Dont Worry, Be Happy (whistling)
3. Hero - Enrique Iglesias
4. Mysterious Girl - Peter Andre

I think that LJooce knows that song that I made up - but he refuses to remind me of what it is. I remember it being awesome and I christen it Boogie Fever.

I have load and loads of time off next week - so maybe something interesting will happen.

OH! As a side note, remember how I smiled at a blackman? LJooce called me a bigot? I saw him the other day. Oh the shame.

OH! And the title... The funniest moment in Scrubs. The acapella group with Ted were singing that baby back ribs song, you know "I want my baby back baby back baby back ribs". Well as a form of torture they were singing "I want my baby back baby back baby back give me my baby back baby back baby back I want my baby back baby back baby back" and the guy cries "When do they say ribs?" and the answer: "Never.... they never say ribs". Hilarity at its finest.

I have a craving for coke.

Nikers is a Bridesmaid....

2008-06-20T17:03:00.000+10:00

w000000000000000000000000t!!

Jerks and Racism.....

2008-06-02T13:20:00.000+10:00

Wazzup peeps? I hear that the blog is a huge success... and that the fuzz story was most certainly one to tickle your fancy.

"... the most inspired work of our time!" - Herald Sun
"Laugh Out Loud Hilarity!" - New York Times
"I didnt want it to end..!" BFF

I would like to take this opportunity to thank BFF for his support and encouragement on this creative journey of mine. I would also like to thank LJooce for trying to hold me back, trying to guide me along with assitance from his favorite website Teen Asian (or T-Nation, whichever you prefer). It helped me understand how Leonardo DaVinci felt when no one liked his work. I now understand the pressures and the heartache associated with being unsupported in your work. So LJooce... this one is for you.

Lets talk about Jerks.

I had a life changing moment on Thursday night. I thought I was going to die. I went to go and see my lovely friend KJ who had hurt her knee (bless her cotton socks). She is now living in Docklands and I spent a lovely evening chatting and dining with her. At 11.30 I decided that as I was working tomorrrow and she was working rather early tomorrow morming that I should head off home. As I was walking down to the entrance I thought that I really should have left earlier, that it wasnt a good idea to walk to my car this late at night alone. I saw a secuity guard as I was walking out and asked him if there was anyone outside. I really should have asked him to walk me to my car. God, I even ask the security guards at work to walk my to my car if I finish late! So I walked out the building... oh wait... here is a map....

So I walked out of the building and saw these three asian youths on the opposite side of the road... I thought to myself that I would ninja across the road and down to my car and speed out of there like the holy mother of god. So I got to the lights and waited for them to change, I looked across and saw that the asian youths were walking across the street towards me and were looking at me. I thought bugger this for a laugh and proceeded to cross... the asian youths started walking in the middle of the road... towards me..... they were smiling and coming towards me.... looking straight at me and coming towards me. I thought - F*ck! I'm dead. They're going to mug me and probably stab me too. I kept walking at the same pace... looked away and as soon as they had their back to me I moved like thunder to my car and sped like I had never sped before and got myself the hell outta there!

They knew what they were doing, they knew they were intimidating me... scaring me... they probably knew too that if they wanted to hurt me there would be nothing to stop them. That taxi across the street wouldnt have done anything. How dare they do that to me? But then again what was I thinking! I am such an idiot! Why didnt I ask the security guard to walk me? Something so simple and I nearly got myself killed.

Hmm... I might wait another day before I tell my parents that I write a blog!

So now onto Racism.

Another episode which is at the other extreme..... I had another life changing moment on Friday. A moment where I felt that I was the biggest jerk in the whole wide world.

Daily, I take my beloved Paris (pose a moment for the awwww)

for a walk in the park across the street. I cannot emphasise enough how much she loves this fricken walk. Anyone that knows my little lady knows that she is a lazy thing and she walks at the pace of a disabled turtle but when I take her to this park, the lead comes off, the hair is taken down and its party time. She runs around and has a jolly old time while her mother stands by and smiles knowing that when her princess is happy all is right in the world. Oh, she makes my life so bright does my little Parry.

Anyway! I was sitting on a bench, and Parry was laying in some grass looking like this is the best day of her life, when I spot a black-man walking towards us - sorry a man of African-American descent. He was maybe 25 and was dressed all lovely in smart pants and a shirt. I looked up and smiled, he smiled back. He kept walking. He saw Paris, smiled, waved and bent down to pat her. Turned around, smiled. Walked away. Turned, waved at Paris and left. I few minutes post, I was ready to take her home. I walked down the path feeling PRETTY damn happy with myself. I smiled at a black man! Aren't I wonderful, I probably made his day. Oh Oh! This probably means more good karma for me!

I then stopped, realised what I was saying to myself. Oh. My. God. OH MY GOD! What a horrible person I am! I was completely judging him... saying that I thought that his life was crap because of the colour of his skin! That by me smiling at him I had somehow made his life worth living, because he must lead an obviously dreadful existance. I am horrified by my behaviour! LJooce summed it up and said that was being a bigot.

You know that good karma I had coming to me from the old man?? I think I just lost it :(

With the bad... comes the good... comes the bad...

2008-05-22T20:54:00.000+10:00

Man, three blogs in one week. Something tells me I may have something of a unhealthy addiction... but its good - decreases stress and makes me giggle.. and as we all know quite well the analogy of a desert island and if I could take anyone... I would take myself.

So.. let us start with the bad. Yesterday we received a telephone call at home (a rare occurance that is only ever mine or C-Bears Mum or some jerk of a telemarketer) and upon answering I was asked if my mother was home. Say what? Yes, they asked me if my mother was home (incase you didnt hear me). But but but... she thought I sounded like I was about 7... I said I'd work on it and promptly hung up.

And then came the good - the o-so good and totally amazingly exciting. It doesnt take a lot to make me go crazy - and its generally over the stupidest things that I get over excited. Last night at about 11.30 an almighty thud distrubed me from my shut-eye.... thought nothing of it and proceeded to resume sleep... upon hearing another mighty thud I called out C-Bear thinking that my lovely flatmate had fallen over. As I got no response we went running to her aid and found her outside on the phone to the fuzz!! OMG... there was a pileup outside our house. We had been waiting for this moment for months! Living on a main road you would expect that there are accidents all the time.. but alas all we hear is the screech but never the thud. At this point, I was giggling because I had likened the sound of a car accident to the falling over of my lovely flatmate... lol.... which of course would sound nothing like it. If C-Bear happened to fall over.... it would sound like petals falling to the floor. Because... she is a... petal... (have I sucked up enough?) Anyway - here I am in my dressing gown in the street hopping up and down because my feet are so cold. At this point you would think, we've called the fuzz... everyone seems to be ok... we should just go to bed. But we didnt... making excuses like 'just want to make sure the filth get here to sort things out..' and I say 'ok... just gonna go and get some socks.' L-Jooce (uber sexy boyfriend extrodinaire) also wanted some socks. So we all went inside and got changed! If you are really that desperate for some reality action maybe you should just watch Big Brother 24/7 - not hang out on the street and loiter saying we should really wait for the bacon to get here.

Anyway - so we return outside and yes! Here comes the 2 cent piece and whats this... they flashed their lights. In a fit of excitement I completed a massive spasm which found my legs and arms flailing everywhere... a excited spasm which would put BFFv2 to shame as he is the true master. Anyway - this set C-Bear off.... sent L-Jooce in a shaking head frenzy and me into a fit of giggles. We hung around for a while... sung a few lines of OMC's How Bizzare which resulted in us being locked out the house.

And then back to the bad... at Uni today I was accused of being old! Thats right dedicated readers (of 3 posts) moi... I was walking with my young friends to the Uni centre to get a drink and on the way back we were talking about the course. I was reflecting on the fact that 599/600 students are not being completely honest in thinking that they'll all become psychs. Not thinking of the fact that there isnt room in the honours program for 599 students anyway... so they asked their leader why I wouldnt continue to which I politely answered, and in return they said that I would be old when I finished it anyway and they would be as old as me when they went the full way... all condescending like.... What? 23 is old now? Bastard! Take that back! Another thing to note is that if we have an additonal 599 psychs in 7 years time then it will put my lovely LLBFF out of business (who is going to be the best damn psych this side of Texas by the way) and that is something that I make my life purpose to put a stop to.

Anyway - need to work on an essay... hot tip - running is an awesome way of getting out of doing homework... I went for a run 3 times already this week :D

w0rd

Give me some of that Karma baby!

2008-05-20T14:39:00.000+10:00

Sick awesome... karma is coming my way!!

I another attempt to skive off doing homework I took my faithful puppy dog (pose a minute for the awwww)

to the local shops to buy some shampoo and conditioner (results = luscious) and on my mindless wandering on the way home I spotted a elderly gentleman who appeared to having a rough old time. Little Paris isnt much of a walker herself (this fact I attribute to the size of her legs - something I have also been accuded of) and stopped to ask this man if he needed a hand. Poor old bloke had emphysema and had to take a break every few steps (kids - dont smoke - although he is 86....). So I walked him home... man, old people are INTERESTING! This dude came across in the first fleet and was one of the marine engineers on the boat, he subsequently worked in one of the head positions at RMIT and taught some top marine engineers of our day. (Note - I have just been informed that the first fleet was in the 1700's... that old dude is soooo dead)

The only thing that bothered me though, was that he said that to be studing psychology that you needed to have empathy and looked at me a little confused. Personally, I think I put people above me WAY too often (oh shit this totally compromises the last post that I made referring to a my superiority complex) and in the case of this dude... I could have walked fast and left this man far behind me. But I didnt... if that isnt empathy then WHAT IS IT??????

Anyway... besides having to rant about it... I believe that I have mass good karma coming to me. And I think I f*cking deserve it!!

w0rd.

Soo... I hear blogging is the new black

2008-05-18T09:52:00.000+10:00

Well, I suppose I should see what all the fuss is about. But then again... everyone has been on at this for a few years.... say around 2006. I think I may have considered it, maybe tried it a little on myspace. But seriously... myspace. Totally for pre-schoolers.

Although at Uni everyone seems to be all over myspace and in the lab classes instead of paying attention to the tutor all the students are looking at photos of themselves in uber 'sexy' shots. Its funny how times change, I always assumed that I would be the young one in life as I always have been - minor case in highschool and high level case in work - closest friends being in their 30's!! Not that there is anything wrong with that... but I have always felt out of my depth. Now I think that I'm channeling a serious case of the 'superiority complexes'. This superior complex I believe started at the initiation of Facebook. Sigh - how I am addicted. If I need a break when studying... facebook.... if there is nothing on TV when I need a break from studying... facebook... if my computer is on at home... facebook.... if no one is answering their phone... facebook. A prime example of how awesome facebook is is the level of communication that goes on. Only last night I said to my BFF (Lindsay Lohan style) who has no credit to keep in touch with me via facebook.

I wonder what it will all be like in 2050 when we are all old and decrepid... how will we all communicate with each other... will phones be redundant? Will we only communicate electronically only via blogs and messages on Facebook? Will everyone work from home in their underwear ordering junk food via Coles (TM) online and the food will magically appear in your Coles (TM) online fridge and get fatter and fatter and FATTER until we burst and die? Is this how we will all die in 2050?

Look out ladies... here is your future husband. Welcome to technology.

Hey... look at how much I have written. That wasnt so hard. A lot of rambling though, but not bad for a first shot. Dont judge a book by its cover, I actually am quite literate. I raed boks aend anser fones wen eye werk.