Holy Mother Cracking Shit... I used to write a blog

Well bugger me, I fell across this old chestnut earlier today and had completely forgotten about my hilarious stories. I just re-read it and shit, you guys are so lucky to have a friend like me. I am hilarious.

So, you'd think that in the space of 6 months (dear lord I am so sorry for depriving you all for so long) I would have some amazing stories to tell you, but alas dear readers nothing of the hilarious kind. Unfortunately, this year has been full of drama that is not in the least bit funny. But, I am happy to report that I am back on the proverbial cock. Oh shit. Did I just say that? What I meant to say was that I have an awesome boyfriend, Nicky version 2. Awesome name, pity about the spelling (nb: I do love him despite this fact though....). He makes up for it by having an amazing arse. Nice one buddy ;)

We are currently in the process of looking for a new house and have had a few let-downs, which have proved to dissapoint me more than they probably should. But, I suppose it could be attributed to the fact I just wrote 2 ROCKING essays and that really takes it out of a person. Its hard to be awesome all the time, and I have to do it orally and in written form. Expectations are demanding, but I think I can take the heat.

Also, I got a new job, working with angels and shit. I am reminded constantly that there are apparently 100,000 Angels (the song that is played over and over and over and over at work). Yeah, its a 'spiritual' place, makes my flatmates laugh... especially when I come home and I get asked by Nissan Navarra how the angels are today. Yeah, they're good Nissan, they're good.

Oh, and I became a vegetarian. We'll see how that one goes.... but so far its been pretty good. I think I am just bored with it at the moment... mix it up a little and try some new recipes is probably the flava flave of the day. Get some more of those tasty tofu nutrients. Mmmmmm. Good thing is though that I dont eat fast food (much) anymore (last night is NOT included, it was to cheer my flatmate up... I swear). But it means no more Maccas, and no more Ronald Mac asking me to do lewd things with his McNuggets.

Well, this one has been for you little Scotty dog.... have fun marking your exams. xx

Birthday Time!!

A girlfriend of mine from Sydney called me yesterday, honestly she is the most wonderful person and has unfortunately been suffering really badly from depression the last few years. Her outlook on life really puts things into perspective for me, and her clarity when she was telling me that the whole idea of new years surrounds her with thoughts of death and how she gets herself through that is really inspiring... she is just so straight down the line about it. 'Yeah, I know its ridiculous but I cant do anything about it besides not let it control me'. Nice one sister. It got me to thinking (LOLOLOL couldn't help the Carrie Bradshaw-esque line.. apologies) that the whole reason I have been the hermit bitch from hell this Xmas/New Year/Birthday season because its the first time in a very very very long time that I have been single over that period. And you know what - just quietly - I think that its completely f*cked up!! I mean in a way, I have been really fortunate and that there are people who suffer from the exact opposite problem. But its a problem nonetheless. You know I'm waiting on a guy who I should really have absolutely no feelings for after the last 3 months of relationship mayhem to text me on these 3 occasions (xmas, new year, birthday), or at least get in touch with me somehow. You know what he did instead? Defriended me on Facebook. Come ON!!!!! I want to feel nothing... but I wonder if rejection makes you feel more?

So, seriousness aside..... we're looking for a person to move into our place as K-Mac is moving out. We saw a few people... some of which sucked mass monkey nuts... but saw this one chick.. we'll call her Mozzie (because she studies mosquitos for a living... WTF dude) anyway... we loved her. And saw a few others, but no one compared to Mozzie except one guy (who funnily enough is from the same town in England as my Mum... spooky) but the guys didnt meet him, and I dont think they want another dude. Probably fearing a mass sausage fest.

Hmm.. what else can I rant about when I'm excessively bored at work? Speaking of work... as per last holidays I have been working a butt load hoping to be debt free upon my return to UniversiTAI... but unfortunately when I went to pick up my favorite chicken from the airport I blew a head-gasket and my car has been at the doctors for 3 weeks. I was told it was only gonna really cost $1400 - so I thought that it would be smart to just assume that it would be more... so that if it was I wouldnt be so shocked. Guesstimate 2000 maybe.. no more?!? Yeah, so $3000 later... happy mother freaking birthday. Bastard. I thought that if I let the little sleaze ball flirt with me that it would mean that I was going to get a slight discount.... apparently not. Sigh, I guess I'll just have to change into my little shorts and singlet before I go and pick the car up - last minute damage control.

Christmas?!?!

I cant believe that its Christmas. And it really dissapoints me how little it feels like it.

This year has been unusual in every aspect of the word and has gone by so fast. I started University, struggled for the majority of the year with the pressures of that and the desire to prove many people wrong. I finished University for the year, moved out of my house prior to exams (like an idiot) and was bridesmaid (at the most lovely wedding I have ever or will ever go to) moved into my new house one week ago. I guess when you move home, its really hard to find the festivity in the festive season.. or maybe its because we dont have a Christmas tree. I was also telling someone at work tonight that this has been the first Christmas that I have been single for the past 9 years.... 9 YEARS. I didnt even think I was that old!! Maybe not being surrounded by family is making a difference... or maybe I am just being a Scrooge McDuck and am completely over Christmas.

On that note... is it strange that I probably have not seen the Scrooge McDuck cartoon in years.. you know the one with Donald Duck as Scrooge? Funnily enough I remember so much of that... and I have always hated cartoons. Go figure.

Merry Christmas :D

My most embarassing moment to date...

I had an EXTREMELY embarrassing moment the other day. I feel mortified thinking about it. This is bigger than the old dude.. bigger than the black man (man of african american descent)..

Hanging out with a friend from Uni and we were doing a quiz in the back of the Herald Sun. He is super smart with all this general knowledge stuff, where as I, on the other hand am I complete dunce when it comes to that sort of thing.
Anyway, so we're going through and there is this question:
"Who recently was made famous for people shouting 'Yes We Can!"
To which I said.. "Pssh! That's easy... Bob the Builder!"
To which he responsed "I think it was Barack Obama"
"Oh... yeah"

Um.... shit.
I was serious too!

Mortified to say the least. How embarassing.

Its these things we love

I know some people hate Rove... and I really dont know why. Who doesnt love a man who is into wrestling? He is responsible for many a laugh and my Mum appreciates his hellos.

But I thought, bored as I am at work... about the things that I love (only because I'm doing one of them)..

I love my friends (esp BFFv1)...
I love that I am in my 2 of my best friends' wedding...
I love that I am nearly finished my first year of Uni...
I love Kat for being my buddy in Sem 2...
I love that I got 2 assignments finished when they were due on the same day...
I love the process of blogging...
I love that I did the lemon detox diet when everyone else said they couldnt possibly do it...
I love that when I havent seen my parents dogs in two weeks that they go all kinds of crazy insane...
I love my dog...
I love my flatmates...
I love my folks...
I love my brothers...

But the thing I love the most... the MOST... is that even though work is horrible on the weekends... at least they have foxtel and I can watch the wrestling..... WOOO!!!

Booyeah!

Detoxing....

Hey dudes,

Been longer than a month this time... but you know what? Go to hell man, I didnt ask for this sort of fame! Sorry, I'm a little techy.... you see, I just did the lemon detox diet and it was and still is proving to be the worst experience of my life.

I've detoxed before, as my BFFv2 and LLBFF well know (we went on holidays to Phillip Island... I ask you what I was thinking?!?!?) and it was ok... besides the frequent toilet visits... and the fact I should have been eating fish and chips like you do on a sea-side holidays. I had been looking forward to the Lemon Detox Diet for weeks, aware that it entailed nothing but this lemon drink for 7 days straight... no food... just a litre of warm sea salt water in the mornings, 2 litres of the lemon mixture during the day, as much water as you can muster and laxitive tea at night. Well, but day 2 I was sick as a dog. I mean not just sick of running to the toilet every 5 minutes, I was confined to bed with massive headaches and lethargic to the max. So much for my productive week doing homework. By day 5 - the toilet runs were still an issue, but I had gotten to a point where I felt better and wasnt hungry at all... by day 7 I was severely over it, pissed off and looking for a fight. Thank Christ LJ was going for a weekend away, he didnt experience the devil lurking inside of me.. I then had to wean myself back onto food which was a process that took 3 days. Food tasted really good, pureed vegetable soup, brown rice and steamed vegetables... not things I would avoid, but are generally not a first preference when I am going shopping for food (plus eating healthy is SUPER expensive).

Day 1 back onto food I began my downward spiral into an emotional wreck. I had a terrible day at Uni and shed many tears saying to LJ and my brother Banjo that I was going to quit Uni. I hated it.
Day 4 back on food I was coming home from work and got to the end of the freeway and a toolbox had fallen off the back of someones ute and it was right in the middle of the lane which meant that I could not proceed ahead but had to go around it. The car behind began beeping me and I cut SICK I was screaming yelling pointing bird-ing (?), swearing and a cussing... thinking when I get to the next lights and see this mother (this is a g-rated show folks) was as good as mine.... I was going to scream at him, and if he got out of his car so be it... he was DEAD! Anyway, a man my Dads age (please note that if it was my Dad, boy would there have been troubles) did pull up at the lights next to me, and smiled... a really genuine smile and said he was so sorry that he beeped at me, he had no idea that I couldnt move ahead. I was taken aback... generally if you have a confrontation like that its all war... no matter who is wrong and who is right... you were abused, annoyed, sweared at and all you want is for that bastard to feel as bad as you do... but he apologised? WTF? Then when I got to the laneway where I do a u-bolt to get into the driveway he slowed down and waved. What the....? Suffice to say in my emotional state that I cried, and not 'boo-hoo' it was tears tears and more tears. LJ was in the kitchen when I walked in and he had no idea what was going on. What do I say.. I mean really? I cried because someone was nice to me? I cried because the stupid lemon detox was just that... a lemon of an idea.
Day 5 back on food.... I woke up crying.... and like Justin Timberlake invited me to do, so I did, I cried him a goddamn river. So much so that I had to call my Mum.

So, the point of this story, is if you know anyone wanting to do this diet tell them not to.... its horrible... and I am an emotional wreck. I used to be short tempered, but lovely LJ has brought me back down to earth and I am generally calm as a cucumber - besides when Uni is crazy. The way I feel right now reminds me of the old days, and I dont like me from the old days.

On a high note, I went and saw the Rocky Horror Picture Show again last night. It was amazing - best stage show I have EVER seen. Amazing, amazing amazing... grace.

Next time you see me, give me a hug... otherwise I'll cry.... and this time I'm serious!
xo

Phew!

Its been a month - and what I promise... I deliver. Although I'm not sure that this is the best point of action considering that I have many things to talk about... but most of which forgotten.

Previous blog update: I remembered the awesome song that I was singing in the shower. I could even remember it when I was out the shower. Look at me now baby... look at me now.

Life has been busy busy busy but Uni has just been awesome this semester. I've finally settled into it and made an awesome friend - heres looking at you K-Chicken ;O (invaginate). And we're doing some really interesting stuff... I dissected a sheeps eye the other day and it was freaking awesome.

I've met another awesome dude too... I know what you're thinking.... 'you got conned by the other old man Nikers... beware!' - but I think that this old dude is legit. Well at least I hope, he has had a crazy life (the similiarities between old people are endless) and is a really inspirational person. Although, I am starting to see that getting old isnt going to be awesome. Old people are on so many drugs - and not the fun kind - it makes me sad that they have come to accept that life is slowly wearing them down. Not for me though, oh no... the only medicine I need is Bad Medicine and there is only one man that can give that to me... ladies and gentleman.... you love him, you adore him.... JON BON JOVI!

I've also been working heaps... there are loads of full timers off at work which means mucho shifts for Nikers, but less sleep too... and now an awesome ear infection that I've had for 2 weeks. I'm currently just working my second weekend with back to back shifts. I left work at 10pm last night (Saturday) and got back here 7am today... I was completely disillusioned thinking Uni life was going to be a chance to not only better myself (which I hope I am) but also have a bit of a more relaxed lifestyle (what am I - retiring age?). And I havent had a decent drinking session in ages.... see Dad.... I'm not an alcoholic!!..... I havent had a drink in over 4 hours. And it feels like forever since I've seen my lovely friends... holla at yaz yo... I miss you.. do you miss me too.. you better....

AND I'm back running... which I'm really excited about. I love it and I'm gonna get uber fit for bridesmaid time. I cant wait.... not long now LLBFF and BFFv2 :) There is such a different between running on concrete and running on a treadmill... my sides are so sore today!! But then again, I havent run in ages.... slack tart.

Show me some love kiddies....

Nikers

xoxo

I'm so fricken tired... I need a motivational poster to keep me going.... everytime I see this I nearly die with laughter.